Monday, May 23, 2011

"Cap & Trade"

Recently, I received a mildly admonishing e-mail from my youngest Son who took me to task for wearing my baseball 'cap' backward while photographing the political events I cover. It seems that he mistakenly interpreted this as my intent to recapture my long-lost 'yoot' by leaping back a generation and hoping to appear, 'with it'. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

In the first place, I wouldn't 'trade' my antiquity, even if I could. I like being cranky. I adore my aches and pains. And, I don't need to adapt fashionable idiosyncrasies regarding my headgear in order to either 'blend-in' or 'make a statement'.

While on-assignment with my camera, I wear a baseball cap that either befits the occasion or best compliments my carefully-thrown-together outfit. I had at one time, tried wearing a yarmulke (skull cap) while taking photos however, it kept slipping off the back of my head. The obvious solution would have been either to use tape, which was out of the question or - to use a decorative clip as a retainer, as is the practice among other 'slightly-balding' Jewish photogs. Hey Man, not for me. I quickly abandoned that idea.

So, I continue to wear a baseball cap, selected from my hat-rack full of caps - some with logos, some without. And, I continue to swirl the cap around backwards in order to get the bill out of the way when I jam my face against the camera to focus it. Immediately upon clicking off the final in a series of photos, I swirl the cap back to its normal orientation, with the bill facing forward. Then, I cock the cap back on my head with just a hint of an attitude of 'casual confidence' that seems to have become my trademark. While it was never my intention to project that impression, it does provide marginal advantages and so, I've never bothered to either mitigate it or deny it.

Rumors to the effect that I am studying to be a 'minority' by affecting the 'bill-backwards-look', are totally specious. Everything I've learned about being Jewish indicates that 'Our Crowd' is universally accepted as being the 'original' minority. So, on that score I'll ride with the herd. With regard to the orientation of the bill on my cap-of-the-day, if I were inclined to use it as a device to signal that I belong to an offended or put-upon minority - I would skew my cap, adjusting it so that the bill pointed off to one side. Well, you ain't not never gonna see that on me.

It would be simpler to go hatless as I dash about with my camera. However, when I'm in my 'stealth-photo' mode, I endeavor to maintain my cover - so to speak. So, as much as I love the Son who misunderstands me, I wouldn't trade my cap habit - - - I'm just not the 'cap & trade' type. Besides, how can that kid relate to the problem? He sports a full head of his own hair.

I mean really, what's that all about? Where's the justice?

Conservative Commentary by MORT KUFF © 2011

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1 comment:

Bill Schultz said...

Mort, it's not what's on top of your head that counts, it's what is inside your head that counts. After reading you for awhile, I gather that there is substance inside your head as compared to the mindless liberals who don't like what you have to say. But then again, liberalism is a mental disorder with heads full of mush - keep on yanking their chain - they deserve it.