Thursday, December 23, 2010


Let's be a serial offender and stand the “Politically Correct” police on their dumb heads. Remember, just a few short years ago, your friends, family, comedians, and yes, “real bigots”, said things about others and other groups that today would be considered offensive to a highly, overly sensitive public? Back then, people laughed at the “diss” and many times came back with their own “diss”, meanwhile laughing at the exaggerations that the racial, ethnic, gender and religious jokes poked fun at. Very few took offense at these jokes.

Today, it is a different story. Real or imagined outrage is expressed when anybody crosses the “P.C. Police” line of what is right and what is wrong, and what can and what cannot be said or expressed in public. Who gave these self-appointed guardians of proper speech and action the right to tell others how to act and what to say?

Here are a few “politically incorrect” statements, jokes, and comments that should raise the hairs on the back of the necks of the self-righteous, indignant, overly sensitive people who are looking for any slur or pseudo-slur that might be said in jest or just in kidding around.

Let's see how many people we can offend (all in good-natured fun, of course).

*What is a Jewish nymphomaniac? Ans.- She's a Jewish girl who'll go to bed with a guy after she's just had he hair and nails done.

*What is smaller than the Swiss Navy? Ans.- The Italian Air Force.
How can you tell a Mexican girl is having her period? Ans.- She's only wearing one sock.

*Why does a Pollack keep his fly open? Ans.- Just in case he has to count to eleven.

*Did you hear about the new German microwave oven? It seats 45.

*What's an Irish 7 course meal? Ans.- A six-pack and a boiled potato.

*How was the “limbo” invented? Ans.- A Puerto Rican was sneaking under a pay toilet.

*What's the most confusing day in the black ghetto? Ans.- Father's Day.

*What word beginning in “A” means prince in Jewish? Ans.- “A” doctor.

*Did you hear about the Pollack who thought that Peter Pan was a wash basin in a whore house?

*How do you sink an Italian submarine? Ans.- You put it in the water.

*Why do Mexican women wear long skirts? Ans.- To hide their No-Pest Strips.

*What's the difference between an ex-wife and a barracuda? Ans.- Nail Polish.

*What's the plural of “yenta”? Ans.- Hadassah.

*What do you get when you cross a midget with an Italian? Ans.- A short garbageman. (this applies mainly to N.Y. And N.J.)

*How do you solve the Puerto Rican problem? Ans.- You tell blacks they taste like fried chicken.

*Germans are so dull I can't think of any funny lines.

*How can you tell when an Irish patient is recovering? Ans.- When he tries to blow the head off his medicine.

*How can you tell you're in a gay church? Ans.- Only half the congregation is standing.

*My ex-wife was an expert housekeeper. When we got divorced, she kept the house.

*Did you hear about the Pollack who thought that a Penal Colony was an all-male nudist camp?

These were the kind of jokes and comments that were made before “political correctness” came to play such a important part of our lives. Most of us laughed at the absurdity because that is what makes a joke or a comment funny. A certain amount of truth coupled with a gross exaggeration. And most of us laughed and were not offended. Ah, for the good old days, when men were men and not girlie-men!

Conservative commentary by Chuck Lehmann

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Terry Adams said...

Here's another one for you. Did you hear that they couldn't find a coffin big enough to bury that bloated liberal blowhard Ted Kennedy, so they gave him an enema and burried him in a shoebox?

Anonymous said...

funny stuff! People are too touchy. Certain People have Cart Blanche to make racist (Sharpton) statements yet if anything is against them, they have the Reverends protest.