What is Torture

This Weeks Editorial May 4, 2009

A comedian friend of mine gave me a definition of torture that really makes sense. He said, “Torture is going out on a “blind date” with Rosie O’Donnell and having to listen to her talk for three straight hours”. (Maybe “straight” is the wrong word to use?). Ask most men, and they’ll agree with that definition.

But seriously, the way the word “torture” is bandied about today, you’d think that the above comical definition might even have some merit. The “weak-kneed” generally define torture, as any unpleasantness that you might inflict upon another person in hopes of getting information that you need or want to know. God forbid, we try to use methods, frowned upon by the “wilted flower children” of the 60’s and 70’s, that might be “enhanced” to get valuable information from people who want to kill us and behead us.

These “wusses” have no “gonads” and think that you can get the information out of these “evil doers” just by being nice to them. Suppose you can’t, then what? Talk about living in a fantasy world?

The methods they decry as “torture”, are not half as bad as what I had to endure pledging for my college fraternity. We were subjected to paddling, being blindfolded, made to eat simulated worms, being ridiculed, and body painted. No, I didn’t like it. Now, look what some “bleeding hearts” consider torture. Depriving a terrorist of sleep for extended periods of time, making him lie next to insects when he has a fear of insects, slamming him against the wall by the lapels of his shirt ( with protective neck gear collars to prevent neck injuries), and the all so vicious “waterboarding” ( nobody in our custody died as a result of “waterboarding”, but think of how many people died as a result of snowboarding in our own country, just last year alone?) Granted all of these methods are not pleasant things to be done to you, but do they rise to the level that we knew torture to be, such as, pulling out finger nails, gouging out of eyes, cutting off fingers or arms, being lashed, tied to post, and electrifying genitals etc.? To me, that’s torture, and should not be in our interrogation playbook. But, the sanctimonious liberals want to get their last “mean” shots into Bush and Chaney and want to tar them with permitting illegal acts of “torture”. Instead, these misguided pinheads should be giving them medals for doing all they could, within the law, to keep us safe for 7 years with no terrorist attacks against our homeland.

If the “wusses” won’t say it, so I’ll say it. Thank you President Bush and Vice-President Cheney, we support you for what you did and for keeping us safe from another terrorist attack. I hope we can make that same statement for our current President at the conclusion of his term.

Written by Chuck Lehmann
Chuck on the Right Side