There Oughta be a Law!

• That Congressmen and Senators should be under some form of “term limits” so that some elected officials can't make a career out of holding public office. According to our founding fathers, our Congressmen and Senators were supposed to be temporary officeholders, not career politicians that held office for 30 or 40 years. Term limits might be 10 years or 5 terms for a Congressman, and 12 years or two terms for a Senator. I firmly believe that corruption will be decreased big-time if this law is enacted.
  
  
• That people, in the interest of good taste and propriety, should not wear clothes that have a tendency to offend the “normal” eye of another person. That means that people should not wear outfits that look like they are trying to squeeze 10 lbs. of potatoes into a 5 lb. bag. There is a limit as to how far a fabric could stretch so that if one of those people attempts to bend over, an explosion might occur thus causing injuries to innocent people. Just go to your nearest shopping mall, sit on a bench and observe the people walking by to see what I mean.
  
  
• That any plastic surgeon who performs “lip enhancement” surgery on overly vain women, and that woman then looks like she can sip a drink through venetian blinds, those doctors should have their license taken away to prevent him/her from creating more freaks than we already have now.
  
  
• That any person, wearing a brand-new warm-up suit and wearing a new pair of Nike sneakers, and who looks like he/she could run in a 26 mile marathon, and they then park his/her car in a “handicap parking space”, should be arrested and then sentenced to work in a hospital as a volunteer for one week as punishment.
  
  
• That a woman riding in the front passenger seat or in the back seat of a car, cannot, under any circumstances, tell the driver what to do, how to do it, and where to go unless they are specifically asked to do so by the driver. This would help reduce the stress of driving tremendously, maintain good spousal relationships, and prevent needless accidents. A win-win-win proposition.
  
  
• That a student attending a public school must dress in a manner that is appropriate and not look like a student is about to attend a Halloween party. Modest school uniforms might be the answer in creating an atmosphere and environment for learning which is not present in today's “anything goes” climate of dress.
  
  
• That any law proposed and passed by a politician must meet the “smell test” of whether or not that politician would, under normal circumstances, be affected by the law being proposed and they must not exempt themselves from the overly ambitious laws that they want to impose on everyone else. “Rotsa Ruck” on getting that passed by today's self-serving politicians.
  
  
• That any interview with an athlete must have an interpreter on hand to explain what gibberish is being said by that “student athlete” or by a “non-degree” recipient pro athlete, or they should just play a recording of the trite phrases and words most athletes utter such as, “We gave it 110%”. “We must work together as team”, “The officiating was terrible”, “We've got to play better defense”, “We need to execute better”, and on and on just to fill up valuable broadcast time between commercials.

Do you think any of these laws will pass? If you do, then I have a “Bridge in Brooklyn” I'd like to sell you.

Conservative commentary by Chuck Lehmann