The Mother Smother Syndrome

This editorial soliloquy will generate some negative comments, especially from women, but I feel that this “politically incorrect” dissertation represents the thoughts of many men who have made their thoughts known to me through their conversations with me relating to this topic.

As we were children growing up, most all of us looked forward to having our mother smother us with hugs, kisses, and loving squeezes. As we got older, we sort of shied away from that display of love and affection put forth by our loving mothers, not out of angst, but because we felt we didn't need that loving intruding reassurance that our mothers so willingly provided, especially in public, as we grew into our teens and after.

Even as I reached adulthood, my mother continued to smother me with “overly concern” for my health, habits, and life in general. Looking back on my life, I call that the “mother smother” syndrome.

That “mother smother” syndrome was a particular annoyance as I grew up and grew older, and it was furthered by the women in my life with whom I've had relationships over the years. The mothering instinct, which is a beautiful, loving, positive aspect of life, can be an annoying relationship killer in our adult lives, without the other person (woman) even realizing it.

Let me explain. Men, who generally are not as warm and fuzzy and outwardly giving of their emotions as are women, go crazy when the women in their lives tell them what to do, where to go, what to wear, what to say, how to do something, how to drive, what to eat, etc., etc. This is especially true when we as men, still have our mental faculties, and consider it to be an absolute turn-off to be “mother smothered” constantly by our women partners and close female friends.

Many women think that we, as men, can't walk and chew gum at the same time and that we need that “mother smother” advice constantly or we wouldn't be able to survive or function in our daily lives. No amount or cajoling or pleading on the man's part can convince the “mother smotherer” that they should stop the butting in on our lives and the giving of free (not asked for) advice. I believe that many a relationship is made much more difficult or downright more impossible than from the onset of late-term “mother smothering”.

I realize most of the women mean well and want the best for us now and in the future, but they must realize that grown men don't need the overly nurturing concern that was needed in our early childhood, which they gave abundantly to their own children, when we are now grown-up men. We like to get advice when we ask for it, but resent it when it becomes annoying and a form of constant nagging. The militant feminists have encouraged this behavior as a means of empowering women to stand up to men and “wear the pants”.

In conclusion, men love a warm and caring woman, as a partner or as a friend, but they hope that their loved one's instinct to be a “mother smotherer” be curtailed or eliminated so that we can feel free, as men, to lead our lives, with mutual respect, without being told what to do or how to do it. Is that a deal, ladies?

Conservative commentary by Chuck Lehmann