YOU CAN'T POLISH HORSE MANURE!

How many times during the course of our lives have others tried to make something out of nothing or have tried to “make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear”. When I come across that situation, I’m reminded of an expression that a friend of mine told me a number of years ago. He said, “You can’t polish horse manure”. That was a very profound statement and so very true. Let me explain.

Each day on T.V., the radio, or in the newspapers and magazines, you’re bombarded with ads telling you that if you buy this product, service, or idea, that it will make you bigger, stronger, better, thinner, wealthier or wiser, but you know, by instinct, that the claims are exaggerated or downright false or to be more specific, “lies”!.

An example that I read and hear about quite often, one that boggles a rational persons mind, is the product that claims that it will make a part of a man’s anatomy “bigger and thicker” (a so-called male enhancement product). It even has a lady spokesperson says that that is just what a woman wants in a man. Now, who in the heck is going to believe that spiel, as common sense tells you that you just can’t take a “magic potion” and “voila” you are now Studley O’Day and a woman’s “prince in shining armor”? The ad claims that over a billion tablets have been sold. To whom, I’d like to ask? Are there that many undersized men with a similar undersized ego? Remember, you can’t polish horse manure!

Another claim that seems to test the credibility of a person with even average intelligence is the claim that if you give health insurance to 35 million people, who don’t now have health insurance, it would not cost the taxpayers a “single dime” more. Really? That’s like inviting 30 million people over for dinner and it would not cost the host anymore money to feed them. C’mon, be honest with us, we’re not that stupid (or are we?) to believe that nonsense. There is no such thing as a “free lunch” so why do politicians (in this case the President of the U.S.) try to “sugar coat” a fallacious statement in hopes that the voters will buy it? From what we saw over the past few months, most people are not buying it, but still the politicians are trying to shove it down our throats saying that they know better. Remember, you can’t polish horse manure!

Finally, the electric utility (in our case FPL) puts out public service announcements to businesses and homeowners about how they can save money and energy by cutting back on their electric use. Are they kidding me? How do they make their money, is it by selling electricity to its customers? Of course it is, and now they want to make “less” money doing it? Give me a break. Didn’t I read recently that FPL wanted to raise the electric rates because their revenues have gone down? Duh, why is that? Has their campaign urging customers to use less electric finally paying off? So we, the customers, who have cut back on our usage to save money and energy through their urging, now are faced with the prospect of giving back to the electric company the money we saved by having our electric rates raised for the “less” electric we are now using. It would be comical if it wasn’t so sad. Remember, you can’t polish horse manure!

Written by Chuck Lehmann